Sandwiches and More But No S'mores
by soyamiso
Summary: Vegeta makes sandwiches. Bulma bothers him.


"Mmm! Mint chocolate chip ice cream on a cone." She noticed another sight. "Even yummier: a freshly showered hot, bare-chested hunk. Hmmm. Ice cream. Bare chest. Ice cream on hot bare chest."  
  
MOOSH  
  
"What the...?! Clean it off now," he snarled.  
  
She grinned coyly. "With pleasure." She bent her head and licked up the melting confection from his chest. Her tongue flicked lightly across his nipple. "Ooohh, look at that! Someone's aroused." Before he recovered and became threatening, she spun on her heels and left a completely shocked warrior.  
  
He fumed. Of the myriad of things that he detested, having sticky foods on his bare skin was one of them. Why else would he wear gloves to eat? "Disgusting!"  
  
"That was fun, and he was so tasty." She smacked her lips together.  
  
He was drifting off to sleep in front of the television. Shirtless again. He should have known better, since trouble resided in the same house.  
  
She settled down next to him. He showed absolutely no interest in her. Good. She leaned forward, as if for a kiss, then deposited a partially melted chocolate kiss in the hollow of his collarbone.  
  
"GAAK!" He looked at the disgusting brown glob on his shoulder. "Get..it..off..now!"  
  
She more than willingly obliged by sucking up the chocolate and slowly licked his shoulder clean. She barely suppressed a giggle when she felt him tremble. "Damn, he's cute when he's irritated," she thought.  
  
"You will pay."  
  
"Yah, yah. You know that you enjoyed it. You should try it sometime." She beat a hasty retreat, not waiting for a reply.  
  
"That's twice now," he thought. "If she thinks that she can get away with these games, then she's got another thing coming."  
  
A week passed uneventfully. He watched her eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "She eats like a rabbit. Look at that, nibbling it into a circle."  
  
"Hey, look at what I did. It's a perfectly round circle. And the size of a dollar piece no less. Mmm. Pb & j. Look at the nice layers on the bread. If I peel them apart, they look so neat...blahblahblahblah..." she chattered as she walked behind him.  
  
His mind became numb from her yammering. "GET IT OFF OF MY BACK NOW!"  
  
"But they look so good there. Pb & j on Saiyan. Yum!" She kept a straight face.  
  
"GET THEM OFF NOW!! And you had better use a washcloth to wipe down my back!"  
  
"Fine!" She plucks off the slices and pops them in her mouth. "Yum. Vegeta-flavored. You know, you wouldn't have this problem if you'd just put on a shirt."  
  
"Don't tell me what to do!" Without waiting for her to clean his royal back, he stormed away to shower. "Sicko. I should at least break her fingers. Stupid blue-haired Woman."  
  
He had never physically harmed her, and she was confident that he never would. She became bolder with that knowledge.  
  
She came in wearing a low-cut yellow tank top and shorts, sucking on a lollipop. He wore his usual: jersey shorts and no shirt. Lunch time. He turned away from her to prepare his food.  
  
"Don't even think about it," he warned.  
  
"Think about what?" she asked innocently.  
  
"Whatever you plan on doing with that candy."  
  
"Heh heh. I wasn't planning on doing anything," she lied and popped the candy back in her mouth.  
  
"Are you making sandwiches?"  
  
He grunted.  
  
"Make me a bologna and cheese, too please," she requested from behind him.  
  
SPLAT! THWAP!  
  
"What the-!" A dollop of mayo and luncheon meat sat on her cleavage.  
  
Without a word, he walked over and ate from her chest, seductively licking off the mayo. "You know, that wasn't so bad."  
  
A look of pure disgust showed on her face.  
  
"What?" He seemed confused. "You didn't like that? Maybe I should have added a slice of cheese."  
  
She shuddered. "You..you.. That was gross!"  
  
"Why? It's the same thing that you did to me."  
  
"I only put sweets on you. You used meat!"  
  
"What's the difference? Food is food."  
  
"No! Sweets are good stuff. Everyone knows that only dessert should be on the body. Meat is...," she faltered, "...meat."  
  
"At least it wasn't mushy stuff," she thought.  
  
As if reading her mind, he mused aloud, "Maybe I'll try devilled ham next time."  
  
"Ugh! There won't be a next time!" she screamed before stomping off.  
  
He chuckled. "Yeah...sure."  
  
The End.  
  
Thanks for the reviews! 


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